Chelsea Hull

While vacationing in New Hampshire, I heard a political commercial say ”When you’re the parent of a child with special needs you have to be strong.”

Since my children have very specific sensory needs, I had to learn how to help them learn how to avoid meltdowns. It’s hard to describe this. The best advice I can give you is to stop and think through what events are thinking about attending. Will the event be noisy? Crowded? Will there be social expectations which are difficult for your child? Is it more important to go to that birthday or can we come and celebrate separately before the party? If you must go, stop and think about making accommodations for child.

When you are the parent of a child with special needs you also need to understand others will not understand what your life is really like. Friends and family will unfortunately think YOU are putting too much stress on yourself or YOU are trying too hard. Situations will arise when loved ones don’t understand the work you put in (for serious comments on taking your child to countless therapy appointments see previous blog).

People sometimes don’t “see” what I’m talking about with my two little E’s. And that’s hard on our relationships.

Sam and I have poured so much into our kids. Teaching my children to become successful at transitions, social settings, and traveling has been a priority.

The one constant we can count on is change. And change is my daughter’s greatest fear. It’s really hard for her to adjust to a new jacket, a new brand of Nutella and don’t get me started on the new school year. Noting change was her trigger unfortunately took us years to figure out.

I have a friend and mentor named named Dr. Tammy Bopp. She taught me to enjoy the entire journey of parenthood. You know how everyone makes a big deal over the birth of the baby and throws showers? Well, she helped me realize the entire journey can be celebrated just as much. She also just happened to be a specialist in diagnosing autism in young children. Mentors are placed in our lives for many reasons, keep them close.

I didn’t time this trip to New Hampshire to catch them leaves in full color, we caught it at the beginning. We weren’t able to fully understand the beauty of the fall colors in the White Mountains. And I don’t yet know how my children are going to change throughout their lives. I worry sometime about when they are in full bloom what they will be like. But all I can do is enjoy this journey.

When your child receives a late diagnosis, it can be hard to look back at the beginning of your journey with joy because of the guilt. Let’s face it, there’s a big “what if we’d known right away.” The beginning still needs to be special for us, a celebration and remembered fondly. So to you, fellow special mother, I tell you this: You did a great job at the beginning, you did the best you could, and so did your kids.

Look back fondly and release the guilt.

You did no wrong.

Let those early days or months or years be magical! You deserve that.

From a Castle Resort in Vermont,

CH